Men: Bucking the Trend, Part 5
Joel Virgo
Masculinity Reclaimed Series: Click | View Series
In this series concluding post, I continue to look at a few ways in which we have allowed for an effeminate church state of affairs, and then propose some moderate steps of improvement.
Giving
My only point here is that, uncomfortable as it can feel and distasteful as it may seem, in my experience, most guys like us to level with them about money. They even feel honored when we go to them with a straight request to support a kingdom project.
Humility
Finally, our concept of humility needs to be a biblical and God-conscious one, derived from gospel faith, not cowardly inactivity. In the name of "humility," a lot of church men never allow their God-given masculine instincts any space whatsoever, imagining that their courage will be frowned upon.
Surely the best breeding ground for humility is not an atmosphere of legalistic self-evaluation, motive checking, and doubt. If you have fostered an environment that causes men to confuse their approval ratings by more "mature" men with an accurate measure of godliness, then good luck seeing them take a single risk for the kingdom. It is more humbling to try and fail than to "modestly" never try at all.
Again, counterintuitively, genuine humility is far more likely to thrive when men encourage rather than stifle one another, watching one another's backs (not so we get a better chance to stab them, but so we can protect them).
Women Want Biblical Masculinity
I'll end this with a word regarding the women. Ladies in our churches, young and old, are not as horrified by an emphasis on reaching men as one might expect. Ultimately our women don't want to be surrounded by a crowd of wusses or a bunch of bullies. Biblical masculinity is such a rare commodity that women are usually attracted to it rather than repulsed (though this may surprise them at first).
At a recent staff meeting we were discussing our need to become more intentional about focusing on men. Some way into the conversation, I turned to two highly competent players on our key staff, both female, and asked how they felt about this emphasis. They replied: "This is just the sort of emphasis we need." That is true. Let it become our strategy: reach and change the men, and you'll reach and change the culture.
A Day With Dr. Don:
