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Resurgence Leadership #032: Elyse Fitzpatrick Interview
Tue Sep 02, 2014
5 questions every husband should ask his wife
1. “What is the most romantic thing that I’ve ever done for you?”
You will be surprised! Trust me—every time I ask my wife, ‘Cretia, this question she usually responds with something I totally didn’t expect. When I got married I thought I was going to wow her by taking her to nice places and spending lots of money, but the reality is she thinks it is more romantic when I do the little things to communicate to her how special she is.
2. “What is something fun we can do together?”
Guys, our definition of fun and hers are usually completely different. One of the things about most women is that they want to feel connected to their husbands, to feel like they matter and are important, and one of the ways they do that is by simply having fun.
Now dude—I’m not talking about taking her to something that you like doing—I am talking about asking her what she wants to do, and then making that happen! Trust me, it proves to her that you care.
3. “What is one thing I can do for you this week that will relieve stress from your life?”
Guys, we have no idea how much stress a lady carries around with her, and because she is a woman (thus everything affects everything), we should be willing to do all that we can to relieve stress from her life.
This may include giving her an afternoon to herself, without the kids. It may include you cooking dinner one night or even cleaning up afterwards. Whatever it takes—do it! All of us guys can do at least one thing!
4. “How can I pray for you?”
It is amazing the number of men who will not ask their wife this question. Men, we are called to lead our homes spiritually, which means we should provide protection and direction.
Now, when she asks you to pray for something specific, please resist the temptation to go ahead and be the answer to her prayer by solving the problem she’s bringing to your attention. She asked you to pray—not lecture. I know we have a tendency to try to fix everything, but she doesn’t want you to fix her problem—she wants you to listen to her!
5. “If you could change one thing about our marriage, what would it be?”
This one takes guts!
I asked Lucretia this once, hoping she would say “nothing” and then proceed to tell me about how perfect I was, but it didn’t quite go that way—at all!
She shared a concern or two with me, not for the purpose of hurting me, but because she genuinely wanted that particular area of our lives to get better. It did sting a little, but gave me some really great insight into what she considered to be important—and it gave me motivation to work as hard as I could to honor her request.
Men, Ephesians 5:25 says we are to love our wives as Christ loves his bride, the church.
- He never stops loving the church.
- He never stops pursuing the church.
- He always comes home for the church.
- He never cheats on the church.
- He provides for the church.
- He never stops thinking about the church.
- He takes the church seriously.
I am not the perfect husband, but more and more I am realizing that my marriage should not be about what I can get, but what I can give and how I can serve.
As men of God, we should go all out to show the world how awesome Jesus is by loving our brides as he loves his!!!