Finishing out the Gossip & the Gospel Series is the third face of gossip, meddling. The facial features may have changed, but the effects are still the same. In previous posts, we've discussed the Complainer and the Leaker.

Inserting yourself instead of Jesus

Meddler: The Gossip who likes to be a go-between for others.

The meddler likes to be a go-between, sometimes in the name of helping or “counseling” others. They run like little puppies back and forth from one person to the next, regurgitating information that should only be shared between the involved parties. 

Very often meddlers assume they are working to create stronger "community" or "family" when they are actually making matters worse: “Jan was really hurt by your comment at the party the other day.” Why not tell Jan to either extend grace or go to her sister for reconciliation (Matthew 18:15-20)?

Instead of advocating reconciliation between two people, the meddler advocates being between two people. Instead of putting Jesus between two people, they insert themselves. Meddlers creatively seek significance by involving themselves in affairs that should involve two, not three, people. Meddlers love to be the savior in relationships.  

Who is Jesus to the Meddler?

Jesus is Savior to the meddler. The meddler needs to be saved from displacing Jesus from the center of relationships. They need to be rescued from their savior complex. Confession and repentance to God and to others is the first step in coming back to the true Savior. Turning away from self-made significance through meddling and turning to deep significance in Christ is the redemptive way forward. Surrender your savior identity in order to embrace a servant identity that serves, not replaces, Jesus as Savior and Lord. This will free you encourage reconciliation not foster meddling. It will lift up Jesus, not you, as the Hero.

The cure for gossip: Identity in Jesus

Gossip is idolatrous activity. Romans 1:29 lists gossip and slander among the qualities of idolaters, people who worship something other than their Creator. They find certain things more important than God. What do you hold so dear, so important, that you are willing to gossip?

The cure for gossip is to identify your gossip tendency, root out your reasons for gossiping (victim, acceptance, self-righteousness, significance), and repentantly turn to identify with Jesus (innocent victim, true righteousness, deep significance, only hero). Prayerfully turn to Jesus for forgiveness and grace to change. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of your tendencies, confess them to a trusted friend for help and prayer, and fight to recover a gospel identity that is rooted in Jesus.

Jesus-centered verses for the gossip

The Meddler worships the power that comes from being needed. They want to be the hero more than they want Jesus to be the hero for others. Instead of being the hero, they need to repent and point others to the only true hero who restores and reconciles relationships.

“We have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all, especially those who believe” (1 Timothy 4:10).

The Leaker worships the power that comes from having entrusted information from and about others. They want to be righteous and accepted by their own works through their wielding of information, but are, in fact, utterly unrighteous to the point of selling out others for their own sense of worth. The Leaker needs to repent and accept Christ’s righteousness.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

The Complainer worships the attention that comes from always being the victim. They need to release their identity of victim and understand that Jesus is the only true victim who alone bore the burden of others’ sins. They need to repent and confess that, at the cross, Jesus assumes the identity of both victim and hero, enabling their identity to be found in Him.

“For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all” (1 Timothy 2:5).

The cure for gossip is to identify your gossip tendency, root out your reasons for gossiping, and repentantly turn to identify with Jesus

The false god of gossip kills every spark of friendship and love. It destroys family and godliness and it disintegrates the church. When we look to Jesus for our identity, not gossip, we regain the spark of friendship and love that creates the family Jesus intended the Church to be. We create a home for godliness and love and experience a renewed family gathered around Jesus. We are not the victim, the hero, or the righteous one. Christ alone is our Victim and Ransom; our Hero and Savior; our acceptance and righteousness.

Series edited by Greg Cox