Most marriages today have a tendency to accept sin in either spouse. One spouse becomes dominant and the other passive. The couple goes through life trying to manage sin rather than allowing God to change them from the inside out. Sin-managing marriages are not healthy. A healthy marriage is Christ-centered, which means:

• Gospel-centered
• Transparent
• Growing (not perfect!)

A Christian marriage is committed to see sin put to death through the finished work of Christ and through the abiding Holy Spirit, who radically transforms us on a day-in and day-out basis. For the couple, this means:

• Constant repentance
• Constantly seeking forgiveness
• Constant openness to change

My wife helps me confront sin in my life by being very direct and very loving simultaneously. She’s learned to speak to me in a way that’s helpful and kind, but also straightforward. She’s a constant source of help for me, praying for me, encouraging me, and staying faithful to me. She has tremendous credibility when she says things like, “I think you blew that one,” or “You’re being harsh.” Additionally, in a healthy marriage, spouses serve one another sacrificially. When we have time off, we should first be devoted to helping one another in very practical ways. When we come home from work, we should make it a priority to look for how our spouse needs help. Where we’ve found a lot of love together is simply in loving and serving our children. It’s a great joy for us to do it all together, and it keeps us growing. David Bruskas is a pastor at Mars Hill Albuquerque. This was posted on the Mars Hill blog and excerpted from a video interview Pastor Dave gave to Acts 29’s Pastor Scott Thomas.