Parenting

In the Bible, the responsibility for raising children to know God rests squarely at the feet of parents, especially the fathers (Deuteronomy 6:4-9; 20-23; Psalm 78:4; the book of Proverbs; Eph 6:4; Psalm 127:3-5). This puts the word ‘Pastor' before the name of every dad in your church. How are you training them in their calling? Too many children grow up never having their dads open a Bible or pray with them. Even guys who would love to disciple their kids lack confidence, some being frightened of "ramming it down their throats," forgetting they have an enemy who has no scruples about what he rams there. A lot of guys simply don't know what to do (including me a lot of the time), and so they do nothing. Then another generation of boys may grow up thinking that since Dad doesn't talk about Jesus at home, Jesus can't be so very important after all. I suggest you deconstruct the idea that you, as leader, have it all sussed and instead, deliberately learn by prayer, listening, reading, trial and error, and repentance to pastor your own kids. Then talk about it—a lot—so that dads don't feel discouraged by your mythical example, but instead are well taught. I have also told our dads to watch the danger of falling into either one of two gutters here. Some are great at hanging out and being friends with their sons and, in fact, some are brilliant. But that won't cover Ephesians 6:4 on its own—you need to instruct your kids too. Others are superb teachers of theology, but without relationship your instruction is not going to land where it should. I want a church where the dads excel at both, so the experts of each side need to help each other. I'll finish this section with some words from John Piper in reference to a cigarette billboard with the slogan, Where a Man Belongs: "To hell with such lies! Where a man belongs is on his knees beside his wife, leading in prayer. Where a man belongs is at the bedside of his children, leading in devotion and prayer. Where a man belongs is in the driver's seat, leading his family to the house of God. Where a man belongs is up early and alone with God, seeking vision and direction for the family. Men, I challenge you in the name of Jesus Christ our King, be where you belong!"